Being apart, it's very hard..

Being apart from someone you care and love is not only hard enough, it's devastating! Know what is more devastating? Your ways to keep connected is limited and even if it is available for me, i.e the internet, it still sucks..because u know why?Malaysia's internet connection sucks. That is why.

I've tried many ways..skyping, chatting online and stuff like that which do not really require money but well it does not really bode well with us..for me atleast..it is because either the connection is terrible or theres something distracting somewhere..sigh..the best for me is by phone and now, the situation has gone bad..i guess being on the phone just wouldnt cut it anymore..

I should be more considerate and i guess i have to cope with one of my enemies(bloody internet connection) to win a war(the bloody fucking distance)..im just hoping that the internet line will stay strong when im using it..

Its time for a change..
i've got a wake up call today..i feel like i sort of disappoint a lecturer today.. i dont like that feeling at all..i dont like the feeling of disappointing someone..maybe it is in my nature to be special or someone that stands out in people's view..be it in terms of work or relationship..

I need a change..i need to concentrate more on people that put hopes on me and not disappoint them like how i did again today..it might not be a big deal for many..but to me, it is sort of a big deal..

i still think im not at fault entirely
if this is your way of showing me that im wrong n that you forgive me,
you're damn wrong if you think i feel grateful for that,
i want you to see my TRUE point,
if you cant, it's just too bad

do not wanna know do not wanna care..
i feel that i've fallen down the pecking order in your life and im not that important as how i was used to be..though u're still always the most important one to me..
sound like a high school kid?
i guess..dont care.
guess i just have to live with that feeling of being kick out from the top spot..

Update

here is the current update in my life..
Life's a bitch and there is always time when u feel that you are not cared at all..

there u go, my blog is alive talkin bout his darn emotional stuff..
but hey, like i've said life's a bitch..

and now, my blog is going into hibernation mood again..
in another words, dead for another few months or atleast..until this turbulent feeling goes off..
blah

APOLOGIES!

I wish to apologize to one of my closest friend for leaving out his name in my post recently..
i feel really regretful that i left his name off..
to my defence, i can only say that i was really having a writer's block and after that accident in my college..
i tend to forget things..
so to my really close buddy Teo Mou Jian,who acted as a prostitude to call me on the day before my bday, i appreciate it alot..
it was the most unique way of wishing someone a happy birthday..
which im sure will be a trend someday and if it does..
i will definitely make sure everyone knows who the founder of this idea was..
it was you, one and only..
my beloved..
Teo Mou Jian!

XOXO

Chapter 30 - 12 Months

12 Months ago..

I hated college..
I have no close friends in college..
I did not have any guy friends in college..
I was a loner in college..
I thought to myself "Why in the world am i here?!"
College sucks..


12 Months ago

Life was boring..
Everything was routine..
Friends were leaving..


12 Months ago

I was alone..
No one have come into my life yet..


12 Months ago

I was 18


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Now,
Im 19 and am enjoying my life to the fullest!

And...

• Thanks to The College Gang for the party on the beach!
• Happy Belated Bday to WeiQi!
  
• Thanks to Sin Wah for the cake she baked for me n WeiQi!
  
• Thanks to friends who wished me!Thanks~
• Thanks to Rachel for calling me!
  
• Thanks to Yi-Wen and Yik Sean for the very nice car sticker..!
• Thank you Ah Bi and Panda for the treat and birthday cake..!
• Thanks to my two awesome girlfriends, Sher Lyn aka The Baboon and Vanitha aka Ranghitaaa for the suprise and gifts!thanks alot you two!i appreciate it alot..!hehe..
• Most importantly, eventhough u're thousands of mile away frm me, I still love what you did for me and I love you even more as days past by..my dear NgShinRui!=)

I miss you baby..alot!

Random thoughts

I am like a child who wants more

but you are so reluctant to give

some child will stay and continue bugging

but some will move on to others who are willing to give.